Once again I have become a blog-posting slacker. Is this a suprise? Not really...although I promise I'm very good at keeping up with the rest of my life. So I officially quit my job a little over a month ago. I've spent the past 5 weeks applying for jobs all over creation. Well all over the US at least. Texas, California, Louisiana, Arizona, Florida, Illinois, Colorado, New York, DC, Virginia, North Carolina, Maine, Georgia, New Mexico, Washington, Oregon...and yes, even Hawaii. 55 jobs all together. Finding a job is like a job in itself. First you have to actually find an open position, then there's the personalized cover letter, the updated resume, the follow-up email or phone call (assuming that is actually an option). After all of this, I have 3 interviews. Finally. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me!

Ok, so the last post I added talked about going after the cute little kitten. We caught the kitten. I bought him food, a littler box, toys, and a bed. He lived in my house for several days until I couldn't take waking up and coming home from work to an utterly disgusting mess every day. We moved him onto Beth's porch with his entourage of belongings, where he played in the plants and with our dogs through the rest of that week very happily...and then he ran away, never to be seen or heard from again. For our troubles Beth and I both received horrendous cases of poison ivy which covered our legs and arms for nearly 3 weeks. We both had to go on steroids to clear up the rashes which turned us into bloated monsters with eye-gouging tendencies. And now, nearly a month after attempting to give the kitty a better life, we are just returning back to normal with nothing gained except for some icky pink scars. The moral: some things are better left alone. Especially cute little kitties.

So all evening yesterday, while sitting on the porch and drinking wine, my neighbor Beth and I kept hearing these pathetic meowing sounds coming from the bushes across the parking lot. At 10:30pm we decided to go investigate. After inspecting the bushes and realizing that we can't see through the tangles of what is probably poison ivy and some very painful looking prickly brush, I go up to my apartment and grab my flashlight.

Back at the bush, with 2 very curious dogs running around us, we discover a skinny little grey kitten hiding, terrified. So being the girls that we are, a rescue mission was devised. After many attempts at catching the kitty around the edge of the brush, I dive right in. I was wearing shorts, a tank top, flip flops, and no gloves. Very intelligent. We tried everything. Even tuna. The cat was impossible to catch.

After keeping at this for over 1.5 hours, the kitty gets freaked out enough to run out from its brush cover and underneath a car. Progress. However, after some inspection, we realize that the kitty is no just under the car, but has climbed up into the engine. So now, not only have we failed to save the cat, but in the morning he is going to explode when the owner turns on the car. (Of course any sane person would realize that the kitty was going to climb down and go on his merry way as soon as we left him alone.) After a few more attempts and lots of human meowing, Beth and I decide it is time to just let it go.

I went home and immediately jumped in the shower to attempt and soap off any poison ivy. I tried to push the cute, little, helpless, skinny, adorable grey kitten out of my mind, but I couldn't. It wasn't just about saving the kitty now, it was about accomplishing a mission. I grabbed my dog's pet carrier, a bowl of milk, and some more tuna.

The kitty was still under the car when I returned to the parking lot (I knew this from all of the pathetic meowing sounds) so I set up shop. I waited and waited and waited for that cat to come out from the car and climb in the cage to eat, but he never did. At 1:30am, I went to bed, sure that I was going to wake up with poison ivy in the morning.

Luckily, after waking up and inspecting myself, I only ended up with a few scratches. No poison ivy rash :) But I am really tired....

Today is not going well. It started with me dropping my diamond necklace down my bathroom sink right before I walked out of the door to go to work. So, in a panic attack, I then decided it would be a wonderful idea to break the sink stopper in order to attempt and see the diamond, which, if you have ever done this you would know that it is impossible to see, or reach, using this method. So ultimately, I had to play plumber and disassemble the pipes from underneath the sink. (Yes, I was smart enough to turn the water off first.) I retrieved the diamond and reassembled the sink, amazingly without any further problems.

Then on the way to work, I spilled my coffee. Twice. I now have the equivalent of 2 cups of sugared up coffee seeping into my seats as the car sits in the sun and bakes for the next 6 hours. Yum. That's going to smell great later this afternoon. And I have a headache because I haven't had my caffiene fix. Fantastic. Maybe I should consider a new addiction. Like smoking. I hear that's great for you.

But, on the bright side it's Friday, which means no office tomorrow...but I do have 2 events this weekend. Maybe I'll boycott them. :) Long live the freedom of choice!

So here we go again...I haven't been to this site in over a year, and after reading all of my previous posts, I ask myself: What in the hell happened in the last 2 years that has caused me to lose my insightfullness??? How have I strayed so far from my own path that I look back on my posting from 2 years ago and think, Wow. I really had some stuff figured out back then...? Have I really allowed myself to get so caught up in the little, crappy, day-to-day, work related, relationship related messiness that I have forgotten how I want to live life? The answer is yes. And unfortunately I believe that is what happens to all of the poor, beat down, conformed souls that we see in most of the working population. We lose luster for life. We allow ourselves to forget about all of the dreams and ideas that churned through our heads in our more carefree times and begin to get too involved in the daily grind. Excuse my language...but what the F***? No more of this. I will not compromise who I hope to be in order to live a "normal" life. My happiness will come from greater things- from better things.

Going back to an older post... "sometimes I may seem to wander, to falter, and to not go as fast as the others, but I WILL know what life is about."

It's been a while since I have visited my own site. It seems that "life goes on", the commonly interjected phrase of semi-encouragement. Slightly harsh, but true. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Another zinger that also contains the validity that a scorned lover, or broken-down businessman, does not care to hear, much less believe. The real problem is: How do you go through life without having to hear these phrases? The answer: Don't live passionately. Don't love whole-heartedly. Don't take risks. Don't believe in the power of your own dreams. Who wants to live like that? A fact of life: you have to take the good with the bad, for if you never experince the bad, how do you know when you are truly experiencing the good? If you don't allow yourself to live a "full" life, how can you form judgements on what really makes you happy? How can you prevent yourself from being hurt? If you want to live without regret, you can't live without some amount of pain. Living with thoughts of "what ifs" brings happiness to no one. There are times when, even if you say everything, and explore every possibility, some things just don't work out. But atleast you will know that you tried your hardest and that there was nothing else you could have conceivabley done to remedy the situation. Therefore, you can not come back later and blame the misfortune in your life on yourself. Life fully and love fully, even if it means you get hurt. You will be stronger. You will be a better person. And, you will learn, and be able to express, what you want out of your own life.

I think I may have figured out why I'm not happy with life. I'm a dreamer. This structured, over-planned, money-driven existence that we have created for ourselves just isn't going to work for me. People can spend their entire lives slaving away at a job they don't really enjoy just to survive. So what's my new plan? I'm going to slave away for as long as is absolutely necessary and then I'm going to buy my dream, because that's really the only way it works now-a-days.